Voice Work Is Energy Work
How I Learned to Stop Being Afraid of My Own Voice
The Tao Institute
When I was 18 years old, I enrolled at the Tao Institute in Ponte Vedra, Florida, where I had the opportunity to study with a Tai Chi master.
He and his wife taught me Tai Chi, Taoist meditation, and Kung Fu. He taught me about energy — what he called Chi — and how it runs through our entire being. Through specific, graceful, circular movements, we can keep the chi flowing easily, making our lives better. More grounded. More balanced.
I was so young, but I was desperate to absorb the knowledge. I practiced movements every single day. I read books about Taoism. I attended a weekly yoga class, because I thought — why not? Perhaps another physical practice devoted to energy balance would be helpful.
It was.
I could feel myself becoming more balanced over time. I could feel my mind beginning to slow down.
The Fear Vibration
In those days, I was plagued with intense social anxiety.
I had to go through elaborate rituals before I could even return a phone call. I worked the night shift, so when I would wake up at four o’clock in the afternoon, there would be messages on my answering machine — sometimes from my boss.
And I was so aware of how the anxiety influenced my ability to communicate.
My voice would become so tense. So frightened. How could the other person not interpret me as aggressive, or weird — when my intention was so far from that?
I was so fearful of speaking to anyone who had power over my survival — my boss, the one who signs my paychecks — that the fear would take over my body, tighten my throat, and pinch my voice.
Sometimes, if my boss asked me a question, I would become so scared, and therefore so careful in the way I spoke, that I could sense she was interpreting me as calculating. Perhaps even dishonest.
The follow-up questions implied she wasn’t sure I was telling the truth.
To be honest, I didn’t know if I was telling the truth either. I was so afraid and so concerned about the way I was presenting myself that I didn’t even know what I was saying half the time.
The Daily Ritual
The energy practices became essential for my livelihood.
Each afternoon, I would wake up, ride my bike for six miles, then I would practice the meditation techniques my Sifu had taught me, as well as the Tai Chi routine.
Then I would have my first meal of the day, head off to take a three-hour night class at my local college, come home, eat dinner while watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and then hop in my car at 11 pm to drive 30 minutes to my night shift at the women’s shelter.
These energy practices were what began to give me the ability to slow down my speech patterns — so that I could actually think about what someone was saying to me, and what I would say in return.
The Voice Discovery
Many years passed.
I forgot about my Tai Chi practice, but I continued meditating in a more Buddhist tradition. I continued yoga. These practices kept helping me.
And then, about eight years later, I discovered sound healing — using your voice to meditate.
I immediately substituted my breath-centered meditation practice for this voice-centered approach.
What happened was amazing.
Building on many years of yoga and breathwork, the sound practice is what began to truly transform my life. Soon, I was able to stay totally calm and present for long stretches of time. Able to teach for 45 minutes without any sense of anxiety creeping up. Without any fear that my words were being misinterpreted or that I was being misunderstood.
It was a wonderful feeling.
What I Understand Now
So now, when I teach voice work, I understand something: this is energy healing.
It uses the voice to break up the blocks keeping you from speaking your truth — or from being fully yourself in front of others.
It’s a terrifying experience to not know how to communicate without being afraid. Because the truth is: if you’re carrying a fear vibration, no matter how authentic you feel inside, no matter how good your intentions, you are being interpreted as someone who is not trustworthy.
You may be the most upstanding citizen. The most moral person you know. The most disciplined in your practices. But if you’re carrying around a fear vibration — otherwise known as anxiety — you are sending a signal to others that they cannot trust you.
And this is interfering with your life.
The Practice
The voice work helps because it is an energy practice with the intention of a meditator.
You focus on your voice — not how it sounds, but how it feels inside your body. You pay attention to the vibrations. You notice how you feel after several moments of practice.
You start noticing how your voice feels in conversation — and how you’re being received.
And therefore, you are finally able to start making those changes — so you can relax your body in the presence of others and speak in a manner that is well received.
This is voice work. This is body work. This is energy healing.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If this resonates with you — if you’ve been living with that fear vibration and you’re ready to release it — I want you to know: you don’t have to figure this out alone.
💙 Bella
✍️ Journal Prompt
Where in your body do you feel anxiety when you speak? What would change if that tension released?
🎤 Work With Me
If you’re ready to transform your relationship with your voice, I offer private 1:1 voice healing sessions. We’ll work together to find where the tension lives in your body and begin releasing it — so you can finally speak with ease.
→ Book an intro session: https://calendly.com/hello-bellapayne/75
💙 Join the Community
The Healthy Voice Community is a space for courage, practice, and support. Live sessions, video library, monthly resources, and a group of people who understand exactly what you’re going through.
→ https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page
✨ Unsilenced
Journaling helped me find words for things I couldn’t say. It unsilenced me. 52 weeks of guided prompts based on astrological archetypes — designed to help you reclaim your voice on the page.
→ Get it - $22: https://rawveganbella.substack.com/p/unsilenced-a-year-of-journaling-back
📖 Singing Through the Shadows
That 18-year-old girl at the Tao Institute — the one who couldn’t return a phone call without a ritual, whose voice would pinch with fear every time her boss asked a question — she had no idea what was coming.
She didn’t know she would spend the next two decades learning how to reclaim her voice. She didn’t know that the anxiety would eventually loosen its grip. She didn’t know that one day she would teach others to do the same thing she had to teach herself.
Singing Through the Shadows is where I go back to those early days — and even earlier. A memoir in essays and songs, tracing the long, winding path from silence to sound. From fear to presence. From a voice that couldn’t be trusted to a voice that finally feels like home.
It’s taken me over 20 years to be able to tell this story. Now I’m ready.
→ Subscribe so you don’t miss it: www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com
Launching December 21st — the winter solstice. The longest night. The moment before the light returns.
Thank you for sharing your story & the process 🫶💚