The War on Beauty
We need to talk about it.
In 2004, I moved to Los Angeles, wide-eyed, really young, and ready to go. After being brought up in Northeast Florida, land of short-shorts, sun-bleached hair, and flip flops, I traded in one beach culture for another, except the new one had a fashion district.
I was so excited to live in the land of fashion designers and trend-setters.
I can recall sending my sister a pair of shoes that were trending all over LA but had never been seen before in the place where I once lived. I would often call her to report on what would be fashionable in a year or so, based on what I was seeing on the streets of Los Angeles. Because that’s how it was.
In L.A., back then, everyone had style.
The 50-somethings looked 30, and for the first time, I found older men attractive. Even the older ladies intimidated me with their unique taste and insane ability to keep it fresh. As a creative person in general, it was inspiring to go outside and see so many original and beautiful ways of presenting oneself.
By the time 2010 hit, something weird was beginning to happen. Women were wearing yoga pants as if they were… pants. Odd, I thought. But I tried to let it go. To each his own, right? And all that…
Well, now it’s 2025, and I can look back with confident hindsight and say that was the first clue things were about to get very ugly.
L.A. Style, Deconstructed
A young Angeleno I know just spent a semester studying in Rome, and one of the clues that things had hit the point of no return was when I asked him about living in Rome, and if there was anything he missed about L.A. The first thing he said is that the pressure to look well-dressed in Rome can get exhausting, and that sometimes he just wants to go to the store in sweatpants.
I have to admit I was disappointed in this. While I can totally relate to the sentiment (and would probably just go to the store in sweatpants, not giving a fu@k), what disappointed me was the fact that living in L.A. now equates to a place where you can just slob it up anywhere you go. That isn’t the L.A. I moved to, once upon a time.
This isn’t just happening in California. It’s everywhere in the U.S.
Ugly Behavior: As above, so below, so within, so without.
Before you Karens get your basic poly-blend panties in a bunch over what I’m saying and start calling me superficial for caring about fashion, just hear me out on this.
Ugliness is not just happening on the surface level.
I’ve often said that skin reveals to you what is happening inside your body. It’s the same with fashion. What you wear reflects how you feel and also what you value. What you wear communicates to the world a little bit about who you are inside.
The worst offenders of ugliness can be found on airplanes.
In general, air travel has become an experience of one indignity after another. From the humiliation of having to strip in public to being internally spied on with X-rays, it’s not a pleasant experience. On top of that, they take so much of your money, so you pay for this abuse. It’s awful. It’s undignified.
So I suppose it’s no wonder that customers of this industry have begun to exhibit pretty disgusting behaviors in return.
From the minor offense of men in shorts and flip flops sticking their hairy legs into the aisles, to parents allowing their children to kick the seats in front of them, to the worst: assault and battery.
You’ve probably seen the videos, but if you’re in the dark about what I’m talking about here, I’ll share an example.
Gross, huh?
And it doesn’t stop there.
City Planning, Ugly Architecture, LED and Fluorescent Lighting: Has society simply let itself go?
On a recent trip to Italy a few months ago, I basked in the beauty of Rome, taking in the art museums and drinking in as many architectural details as I could. It was overwhelming. So much beauty in one place is too much for my American brain. Add to that how beautifully dressed everyone was. I found it inspiring.
One morning, we walked a few blocks to a simple cafe full of locals. We sat down next to an older woman who must have been no younger than 75, and she was dressed in pointy kitten heels, a gorgeous flowing skirt made of a shiny green fabric, a silk blouse, and a cropped blazer garnished with pearls. I kept studying her from the corner of my eye, trying to memorize the moment, declaring then and there that I would be just like her in my older years.
I have often said that in Italy, beauty is a virtue.
I noticed it growing up in an Italian-American family.
No matter how poor we were, my mom always dressed well. Her clothes were mostly from the thrift store, but she always managed to find chic blazers and colorful high heels. Her hair was always styled, and she always wore makeup. I never once saw my mom in sweatpants. Never.
Like I said, we didn’t have any money. But there was an understanding that the visual mattered, and so our house was always tidy. There was an unspoken belief that what you see influences how you feel inside. As above, so below, and all that.
Most grocery stores are lit with harsh fluorescents, and the packaging of “foods” is saturated in unnatural colors and glaring fonts meant to grab your attention to buy. There is no attention to beauty because it is no longer seen as a means to an end, which is profitability. The only concern of any mass-commercial establishment is the bottom line. Less overhead, more profit. Cut corners on the aesthetic, because what does it matter, right? You want beauty? Ok, we’ll give you a beautiful store, but you’re gonna pay extra. Really? So now, poor people just have to deal with all the ugly? I see.
If we were a culture that really cared about people moving up in society, we would not save all the pretty places for people with money. We would ensure that all buildings are something to be proud of. We would want all of our neighborhoods to inspire us.
I heard a YouTube vlogger say that beauty is what inspires a connection with god. I think she’s right. Beauty is a gateway to the spiritual. Why else would all the beautiful cathedrals in Europe be built that way?
But we currently live in a world that is trying to stomp away the spiritual at every opportunity, so why should anyone care about beauty, right?
Society has been brainwashed into thinking beauty doesn’t matter. That’s why so few complain about how ugly American life is. The average citizen isn’t lucky enough to live in a place they can truly call beautiful. Most live in boring suburbs, with their mass-marketed look-alike houses and no trees, or they live in dirty cities, convincing themselves they find the tall buildings interesting to look at. Please. Maybe if it has ornate details, I’ll believe you, but most of the buildings we have in this country are just boring blocks with nothing unique about them.
Let’s face it: The society we live in does not value beauty at all.
It’s all noise.
As a musician born before the revolution, I’m one of the few remaining members of society who can hear a major part of the problem.
In the early 2000s, the MP3 became the main medium for hearing music. This required a hefty level of compression. That’s why CDs and vinyl have a superior quality of sound. And if you are one of those people who can’t tell the difference? I wouldn’t brag about that…
All that says is that you have become one of the many who are desensitized to the subtleties of sound. It’s a symptom of a societal mind virus. It means you have already been pushed deep into the matrix of indifference. Just another consumer in the machine. The desensitized masses are the reason why society accepts all the ugliness of yoga-as-pants, concrete block buildings, fluorescent lights, and blobs of flat sound marketed as music. Industry has done its job on you well.
And if you think I’m being dramatic about the sound, then ask yourself why you can’t watch a single new Netflix series without the subtitles turned on? There’s a reason for that.
The film studios changed their sound standards not too long ago. It’s not just the poor diction of today’s actors. It’s the production. The sound quality is worse than it used to be. That’s why you can’t understand anyone, and you all use subtitles. I know you do!
How does this make any sense? How is it that we just accept this?
Why should you care? How can you do anything about it?
Like I mentioned above, I believe there is a direct connection between beauty and the spiritual world of the individual. As a health writer, I focus most of my attention on nutrition, but doesn’t the spiritual matter too?
Even if you call yourself an atheist, you can’t deny that the inner world is a precious space that is directly connected to our physical senses, taking in information from the outside all the time. What is our visual sense communicating to our inner world, that which most of us call our soul?
Don’t you think it matters what you see, hear, and feel?
If you care about the quality of life for all, then start considering your own choices.
I don’t think activism, as it is being presented today, is effective. March in the streets all you want and demand an end to the incandescent light ban. I’ll support you. But I don’t think it will work. The only thing that changes society is individual behaviors that morph into mass trends. Mass trends become noticeable when people begin doing things on a large scale, and that’s when society begins to shift.
Support Beauty
Can’t we do something? Of course, we can. It has everything to do with our attention and what we value.
Personal Style
The first thing you can do is totally free. Watch a few videos on YouTube on how to dress elegantly. It has nothing to do with buying new clothes. It’s as simple as tucking in your shirt and making sure your clothes are clean and fit well. As I mentioned my mom above as an example, you don’t even have to have new clothes. Simply caring about your style is something.
Live Music
Another thing you can do is go to live concerts when they are available to you. Of course, one of the biggest crimes against humanity right now is how expensive and out of reach concerts have become. But there is an alternative. There are house concert cultures popping up in every city across America.
Sites like Group Muse are a great place to start. You can start your own series of house concerts, too, if you have a big enough living room or backyard. You can invite musicians to set up a show and invite all your friends.
Have everyone donate $20 and give it to the musicians. I love living room concerts, both as a performer and audience member. To top it off, you strengthen the community, one of the most beautiful things of all.
Spiritual
Something else that is totally out of fashion these days, but I still think has value, is finding a spiritual community. Whether it’s a meditation group or a synagogue or a church, I don’t care. If it makes you feel something, go.
Watch Classic Films
Standards used to be high. The cast were pretty to look at, fashion was high, sets were gorgeous, storylines interesting. Film used to be high art. Take advantage of The Criterion Collection on HBO/MAX if you have it, or look for classic films on YouTube. We live in an era where you can watch almost anything for free. No excuses. You can bring beauty into your life. You don’t have to watch whatever nonsense, algorithm-based show is playing on Netflix. You can watch films from the decades when the world still cared about art.
Go to Museums
To me, art museums are spiritual places, much like churches. Every museum has a free night. Go to it. If you can afford a membership, buy one and go often.
Listen to Classical Music and Jazz
Again, this doesn’t require money. All it requires is a decision and your attention. Why are you listening to that flat and repetitive junk food of the airwaves anyway? What is it doing for you?
Music is free now. Take advantage of it and listen to music from eras where people still considered music to be high art. But don’t just put it on while you mindlessly scroll. Really listen. Sit or go for a walk and really listen to the music. Experience it. Music is a spiritual experience if you actually pay attention.
Create Art
One thing the 21st century offers us is an abundance of opportunities to create. Whether it’s a web series or a painting, you have everything you need to do it.
In this ridiculous hustle culture we currently live in, everyone is so obsessed with making money off of every hobby they take an interest in. It’s gotten to the point where people don’t have hobbies because they think they have to monetize everything. But that’s not the way it should be.
Everyone should have some kind of a creative outlet that has nothing to do with $$$.
The idea is to focus your attention on something that fills you with a sense of reverence and a feeling of being in the present moment. Being fully present allows for the space needed to create something beautiful.
Writing, carpentry, music, sculpture, dance. Something you care about outside of work. Something that feeds your soul.
When you create, you contribute to beauty.
Conclusion
You made it to the end! Kudos to you, for real.
It’s amazing to me how triggering the word “beauty” has become over the years. The knee-jerk reaction of every insecure woman I have ever conversed with on this topic has informed me of society’s deep fear of becoming segregated in a way that felt too real for too many not that long ago. A fear that caring about beauty will mean the enforcement of beauty “standards,” which is something that has nothing to do with beauty as a virtue.
Perhaps beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the truth is that we are all hard-wired to seek out beauty.
We find certain things in nature beautiful: symmetry, balanced color palettes, the sound of running water and bird songs, the sunset and the colors that follow in the sky, a bright green frog hanging out on the outside of your sliding glass door, the rainbow colors of a tropical bird, and the sight of puppies playing with each other.
We all know what beauty is.
And pretending like we don’t is a big problem. It is ruining us. And it has to stop.
Thanks for reading.
If you care about beauty, you can join me in my 10-week Beauty Food Series. We are currently in week 7. Join us and feel beautiful!
